Extermination of the Senior Citizens

This was a piece written for an English assignment, using the outrageous theory from 'A Modest Proposal' as inspiration. Hope you see the humor in this, and keep in mind, I'm not being serious...or am i? Enjoy! 

In most parts of the world, population is an issue, either kids are dying at young ages, or the fertility rate is too high. Everyone is so focused on fixing these issues that no one pays attention to the developed countries, where population has been stabilized, where it may not seem like an issue. Yet, no one thinks about the excess amount of people there are on the planet whom are not of any use, or whom are not destined to do any good in their lives, people that will not make a significant difference if they were to... Perhaps, not be here at all?

The world could use less stress from all the supply and demand, supply and demand. A little break, per say. Everyone needs a little vacation once in while, why should our earth have to keep on going 24/7 for billions of years, when a lot of us get breaks every 5-6 days.

You might be asking who these excess, useless people would be? Well, let me enlighten you, starting with old people. Who needs them? They have already served their duties on earth, or at least they should have, so why are they still hanging around? All they do is use up space that could be freed for the incoming human activity, they are causing traffic! If we just eliminated this group of people, things such as healthcare demands would be lowered drastically and Florida wouldn’t be so crowded! Therefore, you wouldn’t have to be put on a waiting list for you annual check-up, or miss that nose-job because some geezer needed a hip replacement. Plus, the beaches wont be packed with bitter seniors walking their dogs, which if I must add, pollute the nice sand we like to make sand castles and burry our friends in.

Might I add, the seniors get discounts at attractions such as amusement parks, movie theaters and museums? This is outrageous, it will only tempt the old beings to attend these various places, only harassing us with their slow pace, and enormous walkers. Not to mention, if you ever happen to bump into you, they carry on conversations about the most random events, and let me tell you this, these conversations have no significance in your life whatsoever, you can’t learn from their mistakes from ‘back in the day’, you need to experience them yourself, but how will you be able to do that if you have to stand around all day listening to the elderly ramble on and on and on….and on?

Therefore, I have come to a conclusion, all elderly people, past the stage of retirement, will have to be exterminated.